Pony Nuts

It felt like a twisted game show this morning.

‘You have 18 horses that need to see the farrier. Some need trims, some need 2 shoes, some need 4, we aren’t going to tell you which ones are which and they are all covered in mud. You have 2 hours to complete the task while also feeding and mucking 20 horses, you must work at least 1 and you must do all this while trying to avoid the mad evangelist owner and being called away from your task every five minutes to sort out somebody else’s errors… GO!’

But that is horses, that in particular is riding schools. Every riding school must be owned by somebody who hatters step away from politely. It is quite reasonable when you think about what is involved in owning a riding school, you have to have fallen on your head too many times to even consider working with horses so owning a riding school breeds its own kind of crackers. This one is interesting though, it is the first (and hopefully only) time I have ever had to explain to customers about the check box you need to tick if you don’t wish your child to have lessons in ‘Evangelical horsemanship’. It was before my time there but apparently the tick box came about after a parent arrived early for pony day pick up and found their offspring locked in the owners house being preached to about how God would best like them to ride a horse.

I have without doubt fallen on my head too many times, I have also landed on my feet too many times, well at least two more times than is healthy given I now have a bad leg (half of my talus bone in the ankle was removed as the ‘pieces were too small to pin’) and a worse leg (broken in three places and held together with more Meccano then was in my first set). Yet still I have chosen to work with horses and can be heard saying it is the best job in the world while sober.

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Pictured: Best job in the world…

All horse people are crazy people, you have to be. No sane person would spend all their hard earned money for the right to stand in freezing rain with mud up to the arm pits picking up poo and call it a hobby. Just getting on the back of an animal that could kill you by accident is mad enough when you think about it but then you take into account that time on the back of the animal is tiny compared with the slog of looking after the animal and if you are not horsey folk you can’t fathom why on earth anybody does it. This time of year even the horsey folk can’t understand why they do it most of the time and then you get the likes of me, I don’t even ride at the moment (what with the landing on my feet habit still going strong), yes it’s my ‘job’ but there are far warmer things I could be doing and there is absolutely no money in horses (the horses eat it all) so that leads us back to the ‘horse people are barking (should it really be neighing?)’ observation.

It is usually around now I will say something like ‘to get back to the point’ but I am not sure there ever was much of a discernible point, much like horses really.

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Pictured: The reason horse folk do it

I am working on a fiction project that will hopefully be something along the lines of ‘Mum meets apocalypse’ diaries. I have a huge soft spot for dystopian apocalyptic/post apocalyptic fiction and wanted to try and do a little bit more without straying too far from my comfort zone. It isn’t going to be something I can write in a few hours mind, not if it’s going to be any good and have an arc anyway so I suppose this post is mainly filler! We will have the normal school holiday diary coming up very soon as well. My life is a little complicated to say the least just at the moment with me still trying to find my feet and adjust to life as a single Mum and in turn some topics I have placed for my own and children’s protection as ‘out of bounds’ unfortunately the last few days have been very heavy on the ‘out of bounds’ topics, more normal service will hopefully resume shortly.

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