There are some things that occur in my life that I would have to categorise, should it be somebody else telling the tale, as doubtful in origin. However I am in the distinguished(?) position to claim first person status and therefore have to admit to myself as much as anyone, that they did in fact, occur. This feels unfortunate for some reason.
Examples of this over this last week I have had the memorable occasion when my first born child, my only daughter, told me that I was not a ‘cool girlfriend’ and that she either loved me so much she would murder me or that she loves murder. Neither option is helping me sleep at night. She blames predictive text, I blame her Mother.
I have also today as well as being knee deep in mud and muck almost switched the fancy pants ‘made at great cost, a serum from the antibodies in the horses own blood’ eye drops belonging to a horse who has started to fall apart with my own eye drops (I have also fallen apart but have a head start on the horse). I have to wonder if human or equine would have noticed much difference really. I also poked a finger laden with Canesten cream into the poor animals eye. I am not even going to attempt to explain that further.
And just to round it off. The boy is planning on world domination and is running simulations on Minecraft for his ‘swimming pools of lava’ plan while cackling maniacally. Rest assured that he wishes to save all chickens so won’t be putting the lava plans into action until he has perfected the levee system he has engineered to prevent their demise. So far there has been a great deal of roast chicken and tears so I wouldn’t worry too much just yet.